Sunday, November 06, 2011

FiOS Fail

When Mama Wordbones and I decide to settle in for an evening at home with a movie the biggest challenge is finding a movie we can agree on. In the day and age of On Demand cable service there are almost too many choices. The division of labor in our home usually leaves it to me to winnow down the cinematic choices while she bakes cookies or pops popcorn. As the movie maestro, I am expected to have a selection of trailers for her to peruse when she’s ready to sit down. After viewing said trailers a discussion inevitably ensues about the pros and cons of each.

You are probably getting that this is not always an easy process.

And so it was last night, after finally settling on a choice, I clicked “rent” on the chosen movie only to receive a message that said something on the order that my box didn’t have sufficient “credit” to purchase this movie.

“You paid the bill didn’t you?” she asked.

Yes, I replied, mildly annoyed at the suggestion that I was a deadbeat. The FiOS message also had a number to call with a code if I had any questions. I dialed the number and then proceeded to wait on hold for over fifteen minutes listening to an endless stream of mind numbing music which was occasionally interrupted by a recorded voice telling me how much Verizon valued me as a customer.

I wasn’t feeling the love.

When a customer service agent finally came on the line I did my best to hold my annoyance in check. I understood that the poor schlub on the other end had nothing to do with the problem. After a series a questions verifying that I was indeed one of their valued customers (who else would wait on hold that long on a Saturday night) I explained the situation.

“We are having a technical problem with On Demand tonight,” she explained.

"And would you be doing anything for your "valued customers" to make up for this inconvenience?” I inquired.

“I’ll need your account number first before I can do anything,” she replied.


“You just verified that I’m a valued Verizon customer, why do you need my account number too?”

She insisted that this was indeed required. I told her that she’d need to hold this time while I went and retrieved my last bill. When I returned to phone I discovered that she had hung up.

We turned off the TV and read our books instead, thinking that perhaps, Netflix, Red Box or even the library might be a better way to go.
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